January's Child
by Travithian Axile
Summary: P4 AU. The true killer waits in the treacherous country of the past. Its winding pathways are long-forgotten, and he will not be so easily caught. Ongoing. [Ensemble Cast, Role Reversal]
1. Chapter 1: Spark

**Title:** January's Child  
**Characters:** Ensemble  
**Rating: **PG-13  
**Word Count:** 787  
**Summary:** AU. The true killer waits in the treacherous country of the past. Its winding pathways are long-forgotten, and he will not be so easily caught.  
**Notes:**Ongoing on the kinkmeme. Prompt is a...spoiler,maybe? so I'll leave it out. Will post other chapters after extensive editing because raw drafts are awful raw drafts.

* * *

**Chapter One: Spark**

** 4/11 **

** Cloudy/Rain**

The moment their hands touched, Souji felt a shiver run down his spine, leaving a deep-seated chill that pooled uneasily in the pit of his stomach.

Under the brim of his cap, the gas station attendant smiled innocently at him. His palm, resting against Souji's, was as cold as ice. There was something strange about his eyes—but it was rude to stare, so Souji kept his smile and disengaged his hand as politely as possible.

The sick feeling in his stomach spread. His head spun. Probably an effect of his long trip; it was hardly fair to take it out on some stranger. They chatted for a while, while Souji tried not to look at the bright sunlight reflecting off the concrete. The attendant offered him a job. See—a perfectly ordinary guy, after all—a nice guy—

—_shutup whywon'tyoujust _shutup_—_

Though Souji would never say so, he was glad when Dojima showed up to break up the conversation. Retreating to the cool darkness of the car, he shut his eyes against the steady throbbing at the back of his head.

By the time the car pulled up to the Dojima house, he was already fast asleep.

_He is searching for something, someone..._

_The fog blinds his eyes. But still he runs, though he leaves nothing behind and finds only nothing before him. The road unrolls under his feet, unchanging. Perhaps there is no end._

_At one point he hears a second set of footfalls, echoing in tandem with his. Hope rises in his chest; he whips his head around to stare into the eternal fog._

_But there is no one._

_A voice asks him: _

"_What are you searching for? Why do you search for it?"_

_He answers: "I don't know. But whatever it is, I _will _find it."_

"_You are a fool."_

"_I know," he says. And he walks on._

* * *

**4/12**

** Rain/Cloudy**

"Did you go somewhere last night?" Nanako wanted to know over breakfast the next morning.

Souji blinked at her, forming a reply as he chewed at his toast. It was pretty good actually—his little cousin was obviously used to making breakfasts for herself. He hadn't been sure if she'd welcome the last observation, though, and had simply complimented her. She'd just smiled faintly, both of them far too aware of the awkward air hanging in between. For now, they were strangers. Hopefully that would come to change over the coming year; Souji had far too much experience with silent households to look forward to another one.

"No," he said after swallowing. "I was thinking of exploring, but...I was feeling too tired. Why d'you ask?"

She looked away, and Souji remembered: _Right, she's shy. _Best to avoid direct eye contact. Her voice soft, Nanako said, "I heard the front door...I thought it was Dad, but..." She trailed off and picked at her food.

_Change the subject. _"What does your father work as?"

"A detective." There's just the tiniest hint of pride in her voice, but also the tiniest hint of resentment. He wondered if she even knew—or Dojima knew. Probably, if he was as perceptive a father as he was a detective. He looked around at the tiny kitchen, at the house beyond, echoing with emptiness. If he hadn't been here, Nanako would have been home alone.

"He must be very busy," Souji said. "Why don't you show me around instead?" He smiled at her. "Starting with school?"

"O-okay..." Nanako said. "They're in the same area, so we can walk there together..." She twisted the hem of her skirt as she spoke, nervous, but at least it was a start.

They cleared the dishes together in slightly more companionable silence. While Nanako waited at the door, Souji headed upstairs—to his room, what a strange thought—to retrieve his schoolbag. As he was about to leave, a thought struck him. His wallet—it wasn't in his bag. His clothes from yesterday were still on the chair where they'd been thrown in a sleepy daze. He made a mental note to drop them into the laundry basket before rifling the trouser pockets.

The wallet was there all right, but...in confusion Souji wiped his hand on his shirt, leaving a slightly dark streak behind. His clothes were _wet._ Had he gone out after all? He remembered staggering up the stairs, barely managing to unpack his futon before succumbing to sleep; a brief stirring in the middle of the night when the rain intensified its banging on his window...

A tentative call, from downstairs: "Um...are you ready? We're going to be late..."

_Way to get into your cousin's good graces, idiot!_

The mystery would have to wait. He flew down the stairs, putting his best face forward for Nanako-chan. By the time they separated at the floodplains, the thought of _first day at a new school _and _making friends _had completely dominated his mind, and all else forgotten.

* * *

_-next: a death in inaba-_


	2. Chapter 2: A Death in Inaba

**Title:** January's Child  
**Characters:** Ensemble  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Word Count:** 1815  
**Summary: **AU. The true killer waits in the treacherous country of the past. Its winding pathways are long-forgotten, and he will not be so easily caught.  
**Notes:**Ongoing on the kinkmeme. Prompt is a...spoiler,maybe? so I'll leave it out. Will post other chapters after extensive editing because raw drafts are awful raw drafts. Happy holidays to those whom it concerns.

* * *

"_Don't be stubborn, Souji-kun," his mother says as she signs him up for Yasogami High. Her pen moves easily across the paper. "I don't know why you're so nervous. You always make friends so easily."_

_There's still a bruise on his cheek where the spine of the notebook had struck. Souji keeps his head down and says nothing.

* * *

_

**4/12**

** Rain/Cloudy**

Souji sat down, feeling satisfied that he had made a good first impression. Dissing everyone's hated teacher like that had to be worth at least a point or two. Add to that the allure of being a transfer student from the big city so long as he didn't rely exclusively on it, given that in a month or two he'd just be another face in the crowd.

_Careful now. Don't overdo it. _

Underneath his desk, his fingers curled up a little—but no, everything was fine.

King Moron—honestly, the nickname suited him much better than his actual name that Souji was having a hard time recalling it—was attacking the board with a white chalk as though it had personally offended him. In between bouts of note-taking, Souji studied his new classmates...and possibly future friends. The girl who'd spoken up for him earlier had potential. She was pretty, trim and athletic—the sporty type if that green tracksuit was any indicator. Probably had a lot of boy friends as opposed to boyfriends. Souji toyed with asking her out after school, maybe opening with a question about good martial arts movies.

He needn't have bothered. She materialized by his desk of her own volition, thumping it with somewhat alarming enthusiasm. "Let's go home together!" She sucked up another friend into her orbit, and the three of them wound up walking back in a group—though not before Souji was witness to the damage she inflicted on a very sensitive part of her classmate's anatomy.

_Mental note: Don't ever do anything to piss this girl off._

Meanwhile, the other girl rejected two guys before they'd even left the school gates.

_Mental note: When asking this girl out, accompany question with flowers and sledgehammers._

Still, these girls were clearly special, highly regarded by the other students; Souji relaxed, feeling more confident. With a little bit of work, he wouldn't have to worry about making friends for the rest of the year.

_Chie Satonaka. Yukiko Amagi. _Souji had a good head for names, and added these latest two to his internal list. Chie did most of the talking at first, but little by little her infectious energy coaxed Yukiko out of her reserved shell. There was a pretty good dynamic going, with Yukiko opening up about her family inn and Chie talking about visiting Junes—but that was killed when they spotted the bright yellow tape and police cars in the distance.

"What happened?" Yukiko said, her voice low and scared. Both girls looked worried, and Souji quickly changed his initial curious expression to match theirs. If an accident had happened, it might have affected somebody they knew. "That school broadcast..." he muttered.

Chie nodded; she was thinking the same thing. "Hold on..." She approached a tight knot of women nearby, inserting herself neatly into the conversation. The women were only too glad to share the gossip. "How is it possible...for a body to get up there?" Chie stared at the antenna as though it still bore its morbid ornament and kicked one leg up experimentally.

Souji said nothing. _A murder. _This put everything into a new light. Boring, small-town Inaba...had suddenly become a lot more interesting. He should probably feel worse about this—but without a name and a face to put to the victim, Souji reassured himself that his reaction was natural.

"This is a crime scene! What are _you _doing here?"

The women scattered as a familiar figure bore down on them like the wrath of God. Souji stood his ground, flinching only a little when Dojima stopped right in front of him. _Do you know how many gawkers I've had to deal with today? Thanks for adding to my workload, _his expression said.

"Those friends of yours?" Dojima said instead, glancing behind Souji. Chie and Yukiko looked as guilty as if they had committed the murder themselves, but Dojima just sighed a little and said, "I'm...glad to see you're getting along. Take care of him, will you?" He nodded significantly down the road before walking off.

"You know him?" Chie asked in an undertone as they took the hint and distanced themselves from the crime scene.

"My uncle. I'm staying at his place," Souji said as a young man in a rumpled suit ran past and hurled in the bushes, accompanied with yells of "_ADACHI! How many times must I tell you..." _from an incensed Dojima.

Yukiko smiled diplomatically. "You must have a really lively household."

"I wouldn't bet on it," Souji said.

* * *

None of them were in the mood to hang out at Junes after that, so Souji ended up heading back earlier than expected. Annoyed, he took his frustration out on the Dojimas' kitchenware. Cooking always helped clear his mind, to say nothing of the way to most people's hearts. Souji's packed lunches had been a huge hit at his last school, a success that he intended to replicate here.

Dojima would probably have too much on his plate to come back tonight, so Souji only cooked for two—a simple meal of fried rice from the meagre ingredients in the refrigerator. Whether he was going with Chie and Yukiko or not, an emergency trip to Junes' groceries department was in order. After he'd put both plates into the microwave to keep warm, a thought occurred to him, and he turned on the TV. There should be _something _on the news by now.

The front door opened slowly, with Nanako's face easing around it with equal caution. Her eyes widened as they took in the image of him in an apron. "You made dinner?" she squeaked. Souji nodded in affirmation, enjoying her look of happy surprise. When was the last time someone _else _cooked for her? Dojima seemed a little too traditional to do something like that...which left her mother. His aunt. Souji winced internally. "Come in then," he said, discarding the apron and hanging it neatly over a chair. "Don't keep the food waiting."

Nanako smiled and rushed in after locking the door carefully behind her. They carried the plates to the table together. Souji felt a rush of excitement when the logo of the local news station appeared on the TV screen. This was the biggest thing to hit Inaba in what had to be at least a century. If the reporters yesterday had been so worked up over an extramarital affair, imagine _this..._

Sure enough, the first news item on the agenda was the murder cases.

Wait. Murder _cases?_

Souji gripped the table hard, staring at the screen. They were spared any images of the crime scene, no doubt thanks to Dojima's efforts, but...there they were. Mayumi Yamano, disgraced announcer. Saki Konishi, a student from his very own high school. Both of them smiling when the pictures had been taken, and well, still _alive. _He'd wanted names and faces, didn't he? Souji slumped, suddenly feeling terrible. _Real _people had died, and he had gotten fired up over it. He stared blankly at the screen, barely hearing the words—but what he did hear was that raw, hungry excitement, running in a persistent undercurrent through the reporter's words.

_Something unbelievable happened...something we can all talk about..._

_How shocking...how wonderful..._

A little red rose of pain bloomed at the back of his skull, in an unpleasant echo of yesterday's headache. Headache medicine was swiftly added to his mental shopping list. He hissed in pain, but the sound went unnoticed under Nanako's exclamation. "The Inaba Police Department! That's where Dad works!"

Souji refocused, noticing something he hadn't seen before: the pinched, worried expression on Nanako's face. _Do something, idiot. _He cleared his throat, trying to think of some comforting words. The headache _really _wasn't helping...

An advertisement for Junes appeared, along with the obligatory catchy jingle. Souji scowled. _Great. That's going to be stuck in my head for the rest of the day._

Nanako didn't seem to share his irritation. Instead she sang along, waving her hands as enthusiastically as if the song held the secret to life. She probably did this every time that stupid commercial came on. It was somehow both hilarious and deeply pitiful at the same time. He schooled his expression to calmness, though, when she gave him a quick, darting look out of the corner of her eyes. Well, it was obvious what she wanted, so why not...

"Everyday's great at your Junes!" he recited obligingly.

She giggled, and he smiled.

_Little girls are so easy to please._

He paused.

_That is—I'm happy it's so easy to cheer her up._

As they sang the song to each other again and again long after the commercial ended, he tried to convince himself that _that _was what he had really meant. It didn't...quite work.

At least Nanako seemed to have forgotten about the murder thanks to his efforts. That was something.

To top everything off, he recalled the mystery of the wet clothes the moment he stepped into his room. _It had been raining that night, Nanako said. _He scooped up the evidence and balled it up, shifting his weight from one foot to the other as he thought. He'd fallen asleep in his clothes that night, he had been so tired. When he'd woken up in pajamas, he had simply assumed (after Dojima's opening comments that he'd seen him naked as a baby) that Dojima had kindly (if a little creepily) switched his clothes for him.

Souji bit his lip. _Why now...why here...not since I was a kid..._

Like hell he was telling Dojima, though. Either his uncle would think he was crazy, or worse, think he was_ both _crazy and a murderer. It was a detective's job to be suspicious of everyone, and Dojima would be a poor detective indeed if he didn't start keeping a closer eye on his nephew's activities in the future. Souji had no intention of being monitored in that manner.

A third, and less pertinent, reason was that he had little cause to trust adults, but Souji chose not to dwell on that.

His decision made, Souji went and took care of the laundry himself. Bonus: Less work for Nanako-chan, she had way too many responsibilities for someone her age...

_Doesn't she remind you of someone?_

Souji went to sleep late in the night, uneasily, only after locking his door and jamming a pile of books against it. Sometime in between then and morning he fell asleep, and if he dreamed he did not remember it when he woke.

* * *

_-next: through the looking glass-_


	3. Chapter 3: Through the Looking Glass

**Title:** January's Child  
**Characters:** Ensemble  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Word Count:** 2309** Total Word Count: **4911  
**Summary:**AU. The true killer waits in the treacherous country of the past. Its winding pathways are long-forgotten, and he will not be so easily caught.  
**Notes: **Ongoing on the kinkmeme. Prompt is a...spoiler,maybe? so I'll leave it out. Will post other chapters after extensive editing because raw drafts are awful raw drafts. Sorry for the long delay in updating.

* * *

**Chapter Three: Through The Looking Glass**

** 4/13**

**Rain/Cloudy**

Saki Konishi had been a Yasogami High student—his senior. He'd never met her, but that made it worse somehow—that possibility that she could have become an acquaintance, even a friend; gone the moment some sick freak had hung her upside down from an antenna as though she was no more than a particularly interesting marionette.

He was so caught up in his thoughts after leaving the school assembly that he didn't even notice until Chie pointed it out, "Yosuke didn't come to school today..."

"...Yosuke?" He vaguely remembered the unfortunate victim of Chie's wrath from the day before. _What did that have to do with anything? _Chie answered his silent question, "I'm kinda worried about him. He..." She bit her lip, looking away. "He liked Saki-senpai a lot."

_Ah. _Souji winced. "He probably wants to be alone right now," he said gently.

Chie kicked at the air glumly. "Yeah. But...I feel bad about it, you know? Saki-senpai was already...and I treated him like that..." She was obviously gearing up for something, so Souji stayed quiet and let her speak.

"I'm worried about him," Chie said. "He's a city boy just like you and he doesn't really know anyone—and Yukiko has got inn stuff to take care of after school—um, d'you mind coming along with me to say sorry...maybe cheer him up?" She looked both embarrassed and guilty at once, an interesting combination. "I mean, well, if you're busy—"

"No, it's okay," Souji assured her. While he only had a passing acquaintance with the other boy, it sounded like he was in bad shape. "Now that you've told me all this, I feel worried about him too."

"Great!" Chie said, brightening up. She tilted her head at him and smiled. "For a big shot from the city, you sure are a nice guy," she said with a wink.

Souji couldn't help the warm glow that spread through him at that—nor could he help the observation that, for all her tomboyish ways, Chie was really an attractive girl. As she sped past him on the way to class, he admitted to himself that maybe he _did _have an ulterior motive in agreeing to her request.

Even so, he told himself, he _was _concerned about his classmate. Really he was.

* * *

Chie didn't know Yosuke's home address or phone number, but, she said, there was probably someone at Junes who did. On the way there, as Chie supplied him with the details of Junes' turbulent presence in Inaba, Souji wondered just how isolated Yosuke was, if even the person who appeared to be closest to him in class lacked his contact details. He felt a stab of pity for the boy, and simultaneously, as though a mirror had turned it back, an echo of that pity for himself. Unlike Souji, it seemed, Yosuke had not been able to adjust to the pressures of a new environment—no wonder, when that environment was so openly hostile to begin with. Suddenly, he was looking forward to meeting Yosuke.

It turned out that they were right to come to Junes, after all; the first employee they approached told them that Yosuke was working in the electronics department. Chie raised an eyebrow at that, mouthing, _Wow, dedicated, _at Souji. Souji shrugged. The guy was the type who worked to get his mind off his troubles, he supposed.

The thin trickle of late afternoon shoppers grew noticeably thinner as they made their way upstairs. There were a few salesmen standing around, looking bored—their faces brightened, and then fell, as they realized that Souji and Chie were only students, not exactly the best demographic in the market for expensive electronic products.

Eventually they found Yosuke dusting off the top of a row of microwave ovens with a preoccupied expression on his face. "Hey," Chie called, suddenly shy and hesitant again.

Yosuke blinked, turning to them in surprise. "You guys...!" He gave them a big smile—then, as abruptly as a switch had been flicked, it went away. "What're you doing here?"

Chie scratched the back of her head, sheepish. "Um...about yesterday...I'm sorry I gave you such a hard time."

Yosuke was blank for a moment before comprehension dawned. "Oh...right. That's okay. I'd...kinda forgotten about that, to be honest." Silence descended, with both of them staring awkwardly at the floor.

Souji decided that it was up to him if they were going to get anywhere. "We came to visit you," he said, stepping forward. "After what happened...we thought you might need some company."

"Yeah!" Chie broke in more confidently. "Besides, my parents need a new TV." She slung an arm around Yosuke's shoulder and grinned. "Think you can help us out?"

"You guys..." Yosuke said again, softer. Then he straightened up, and Souji caught a glimpse of the other boy's usual cheerful personality. "In that case, just come along here, miss," he said, slipping easily into customer service mode and leading the way. "So, what kind of television are you looking for?"

Initial awkwardness dispelled, the three of them fell into a more comfortable conversation. Yosuke pointed out TVs that Chie voiced ever more ridiculous objections to, until he gave up pretending to do his job and gave in to her obvious efforts to cheer him up. Souji studied their reflections in one of the flatscreen TVs, smiling at Yosuke's laughter. He would probably be okay now.

His smile faded as something pricked at the back of his neck. Something wasn't right. He stared into the black depths of the TV screen, inexplicably shaken. _What was it?_

Then he saw it—again. His own reflection moved, just slightly, and stared at him with eyes that reflected burning yellow.

He recoiled, stumbling back a step. Dimly he was aware that the nearby conversation had stopped, and that the cold of the floor tiles was seeping through the knees of his trousers. "Are you alright, dude?" Yosuke asked, shaking his shoulders. "...Say something, damnit!"

Souji could barely hear him over the thundering voice in his head. It knocked against the sides of his skull as though fighting to get out. Grabbing at his ears probably wouldn't help, but Souji did so anyway, pressing his palms down as hard as he could in a vain attempt to drown out the voice.

_Thou art I, _it was saying, _and I am thou..._

Gradually it faded away, after saying a bunch more things that Souji was too frightened to fully understand, in time for him to hear Chie saying, in a scared little voice, "Should we call an ambulance?"

"No!" Souji said quickly. If anything like that happened, he didn't want to imagine what Dojima might say—or ask. He pushed himself off the floor, trying to avoid both Chie's and Yosuke's gazes. _Figures. _Just when he was starting to get close to them, _this _happened. It was like he could never get away from his past. Hopefully they wouldn't think he was a—

—_freak—_

—weirdo and swear off association with him straight away.

"Dude," Yosuke said. "What the hell happened?"

Souji was still too shocked to make up a convincing story. "I—I was just caught off guard. I thought I saw...something...in the TV..." He nodded at the offending screen, unwilling to divulge any more. _My reflection moved by itself. _What a classic horror movie he was starting to doubt what he saw—it was, after all, impossible.

_The voice, _he reminded himself. _You didn't dream that._

Yosuke glanced over. "Those TVs don't have any power to them." There was a new wariness in his eyes when he looked back at Souji—and a whole host of other things, all pronouncing very unfavourable judgment.

At that Souji's temper flared up, burning away his doubts. "I know what I saw." He marched off towards the TV, frowning at himself in its highly polished surface. He could still back down now, apologize, go home and sleep it off—

_Sure, go ahead. See if they want to have anything to do with you after that._

Without hesitation, he reached out and touched the screen—and his fingers sank in.

Souji hadn't actually expected _anything _to happen, and had a bad couple of moments when he leaned in too far and had to fight to regain his balance. Fortunately, his two classmates were on hand to grab his shoulders and steady him. Their eyes were as wide as saucers. "This is...this is some trick, right?" There was a quaver in Chie's voice—he'd really put her under a lot of stress today. "Your hand _isn't _actually in the TV, is it?"

Souji indulged in a second of vindication before shelving it—it wasn't as though he was any less surprised. "Sorry. It is." Cautiously he groped around, trying and failing to find something to grab onto. "It seems...very spacious in there?"

"What do you mean, spacious?" Chie nearly wailed.

"As in, empty." Souji leaned forward until his whole arm was inside. By now he was practically burning with curiosity. Just what exactly was inside?

Yosuke checked the back of the TV and tapped on it in a last appeal to sanity. That strained, preoccupied look was back in full force. "You guys don't know this, but..." he said slowly.

"Could you _please _take your arm out of the TV?" Chie begged.

"Chie!" Yosuke said so sharply that both of them jumped and stared at him. "Pay attention, will you? This—the electronics department—was the last place where Saki-senpai was seen!"

It took some time for this to sink in. Souji retrieved his arm from the TV in order to scratch at his chin. "And you think the TV has something to do with it?" Chie said sceptically.

"Yes!" Yosuke was fired up now, pacing back and forth. "The police was in here all morning, they checked the cameras and everything. She came in for her shift and never came out. This has_ got_ to be it!" He began to pull at his uniform. "Help me get at this string, willya?"

"No way," Chie said. "You're going in? You don't know where it goes, there might be—monsters there or something—you don't even know if there's a way out! You cannot possibly be serious, Yosuke!"

"This is about Saki-senpai!" Yosuke yelled. "How could I _not _be serious!"

Chie practically mashed her nose against Yosuke's, her eyes narrowed with anger. "If you were, you'd be using that thing you call a brain! If Saki really _did _go inside, she _died, _Yosuke! You want the same thing to happen to you, huh?"

"I don't care," Yosuke said. "If I can just find out the reason _why _Saki-senpai had to die—"

"That's if _you_ don't die first, moron—"

Souji cleared his throat and reminded them that they were in the middle of a public area.

They stopped, abashed, silently signalling an uneasy truce. "I _know _it might be dangerous," Yosuke said. "But for Senpai's sake...if she was murdered...I want to know who and why. I want to bring that person to justice." There was a flat, steely calm in his voice; with that determined look he could almost have been a different person.

"That's the job of the police," Chie said. "_I mean_," she said hastily as Yosuke glared at her, "They're the ones trained to take down murderers. We're only high school kids."

"_Sure _let's tell them that Saki-senpai fell into the TV," Yosuke shot back. "We'll be laughed out of the police station."

Chie bit her lip, clearly trying to think of an argument strong enough to cure Yosuke's madness. "What if...she really did just fall in? If it was an accident..."

"No way," Yosuke insisted. For emphasis he banged on the now unyielding screen with his knuckles. "See? Only Souji can get in by himself. And for the record," he said with a grin and wink, "I don't think _Souji _is the murderer. You just don't seem to be that type of guy, you know?"

Souji laughed. "Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"Don't encourage him!" Chie said with a frown. "Okay, so you've made up your mind. But as you said, only Souji can get in. You're more sensible than that, right, Souji?"

They looked at him, pleading.

The decision was far too easy to make, unfortunately for Chie. "Let's go," Souji said.

"Awesome!" Yosuke said, clapping Souji on the shoulder. "I knew I could count on you, man."

"Arg!" Chie huffed. "If you two are going to be idiots about this, then I'm coming too!" She planted her hands on her hips. "_Someone _needs to be the responsible one here."

"Are you sure? You're, you know..." Yosuke looked uneasily at Souji for support. "...a girl."

Chie jumped into a fighting pose, one leg up and ready. "You _really _want to taste that foot in your mouth, Yosuke?" she said sweetly.

"All right! All right! I thought you apologized for that kind of thing already?"

"I did? Oh, right, sorry. I still mean it about the girl thing, though!"

"We might be in there for some time," Souji said. Much as he hated to break up the comedy act... "Food and supplies are in order."

"That makes sense." Chie rolled her eyes at Yosuke. "Bet you were just gonna jump in, right? All right, Souji is officially our leader!"

"Me?" Souji was taken aback.

"Yeah. If anything goes wrong..._I will stomp you into the ground." _

That was...actually very motivational.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, armed with energy bars, water and makeshift weapons, they gathered in front of the TV. "Ready?" Souji asked.

"Yeah." Yosuke gave a firm nod.

"Just _hurry _before I come to my senses," Chie muttered.

Souji stuck his hand into the screen and opened the portal. They jumped in, and the world went white.

* * *

_- next: a house of mirrors-_


	4. Chapter 4: A House of Mirrors

**Title:** January's Child  
**Characters:** Ensemble  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Word Count:**4391  
**Total Word Count: **9302  
**Summary: **AU. The true killer waits in the treacherous country of the past. Its winding pathways are long-forgotten, and he will not be so easily caught.  
**Notes: **Ongoing on the kinkmeme. Prompt spoils the plot so I'll leave it out. Will post other chapters after extensive editing because raw drafts are awful raw drafts.

* * *

**Chapter Four: A House of Mirrors**

**4/13  
****Fog**

The first thing Souji noticed about the new world was that someone's elbow was poking him very painfully in the ribs.

The second thing was—"Get off me!" Yosuke shouted. Instinctively, Souji rolled off, or tried to—having had the same idea, Chie careened into him, sending them into a smaller, untidy heap. As they untangled themselves, taking care to avoid looking at each other, Yosuke sat up with a groan. "That's it, someone else can go first next time," he said feelingly.

"Whatever happened to Mr. Gung-Ho?" Chie muttered. For a terrible moment Souji thought they were about to start up their sniping match again, but—"What _is _this place?" Yosuke said, sounding awestruck. "It's...huge..."

Souji took his first good look around, not that it netted him much. They had dropped right into what looked like a TV studio, if one had been first warped in a funny house mirror and then blown up to enormous proportions. Long metal beams stretched seemingly endlessly into the dense yellow fog that filled the place, rendering the many shining spotlights useless. The stage they occupied was decorated with a mosaic of white, writhing silhouettes on a spiral centered against a red-and-blue checked background. If there were any accompanying camera crew, actors or director, they were lost in the fog.

Were they still in Inaba? Or even on the same _planet? _Souji knew he should be confused, even afraid—and, he had to admit to himself, he was hardly feeling the fearless leader here. The three of them did not belong here, and whatever strange will governed the mechanics of this impossible place seemed to know it as well, repelling them with every subtle weapon at its disposal. Already Souji's eyes ached from the mere act of looking, as if his disbelief was a force tangible enough to hurt; even the sound of their footsteps, their clothes rustling sounded strange, somehow drawn-out, hanging dead and limp in the listless air.

Still, he could not deny the air to this odd facsimile of the world they had come from, as timeless and solemn as that of any ancient tomb; as though it had lain here forever waiting to be discovered. Urgent as the situation was, there was a certain kick to the idea of being the first explorers of this strange world inside the TV—of being the bearer of a sacred, secret knowledge.

He shivered—both from the cold, and a guilty thrill.

"Where _are _we?" Yosuke asked again, as though determined to get an answer, anything that made sense. His knives hanging slackly at his sides, he took a step towards the nearest catwalk. Before he could get any further, Chie grabbed hold of his arm.

"Don't rush off all by your own, idiot," she said through gritted teeth. "I know you're hot to go clue-hunting, but we've got to secure a way out first! And here I thought _you _were the expert on action movies..."

For a moment Yosuke looked ready to argue. Then he nodded, surrendering to Chie's superior common sense. "If we got in, there should be a way to get out...right?"

Souji wished he could have left that last bit out. "Wherever it is, we aren't going to find it standing around," he said, trying to sound authoritative. "I can barely see three feet in front of me."

Chie made a noise of agreement, squinting her eyes nearly shut. "Argh, I'm getting a headache just trying to see...fine, but let's stick together, okay?"

They got as close to each other as possible without actually holding hands. By unspoken consensus they picked the catwalk Yosuke had been so interested in. For a time the only noise was that of their shoes clattering against the metal as they craned their necks over the safety rail in a vain attempt to see the bottom of the fog-filled abyss. If there even _was _a bottom, considering the otherworldly nature of this world. Were this bridge to suddenly give way, would they fall for the rest of time?

...Souji decided that it was pointless and morbid to dwell on a question like that, and moved on.

Unexpectedly, a building slunk out of the yellow haze; or perhaps the fog curled back, revealing it in its full glory. As with the other structures here it was exaggeratedly and wastefully vast, a dim shadow without end. Despite this there was only one floor, or only one floor that was accessible anyway. The rest of the building was a blank facade that lasted as far as the eye could see. As though it existed for the sake of this one floor...

...and the door at the end of the corridor? All of them were looking at the swirling black and red colors, mesmerized by their endless spiral. "...Is that it?" Chie said softly, a hopeful note in her voice.

"It better be," Yosuke said, tearing his eyes away. "Then we can _finally _get started. Let's test it out!"

This time, it was Souji's turn to stop him. "Wait. Something isn't right about this."

Yosuke regarded him with disbelief. "And how would _you _know? What about you, Chie? Any bad vibes?"

Chie shrugged. "Other than from, you know, being in this weird place?" She rubbed at her nose, scrunching her brows together. "It reminds me of when you touched the TV. Gotta be worth a try."

Just _looking _at those restlessly moving colors made Souji feel _itchy _inside his head, as though bugs were crawling on the inside—suddenly he found himself remembering that voice, that damned voice, the way it had seemed too big for the prison of his skull—that was almost exactly how he felt now, way too full and skin too tight for the nameless, bubbling _something_ inside. How could they not feel this?

Or was it just himself again?

"Hey, I know we made you leader," Chie said, mistaking his silence for disapproval. "But a leader has to listen to his subordinates, right?"

"Yeah, majority wins," Yosuke said, looking a little irked for some reason. "Let's go, Leader. If it worries you so much, I'll go first."

"No," Souji said. If he was the only one who could sense the danger... "I'll do it." With an effort, he smiled. "Have to set a good example."

If anything, Yosuke's frown deepened. Souji wondered at this as he led the way to the glowing portal, but shrugged it off. He had more pressing concerns at the moment. For the second time that day, Souji stepped inside a portal to a completely unknown destination.

...Of anywhere he might have gone, he certainly hadn't expected _this._

Souji stared around the bedroom, golf club at the ready. It was large, comfortably furnished, and sported a potted plant. If it wasn't for the familiar muted yellow glow from the window he might as well have stepped into any modestly appointed hotel in Japan.

The blotchy red stains and slashed posters on the wallpaper seriously ruined the ambience, though. To say nothing of the chair and knotted scarf hanging in the center of the room. For a second Souji was convinced that there was a shadowy shape dangling from the ceiling...

He nearly jumped out of his skin when Yosuke and Chie rushed into the room with their respective weapons held at the ready, practically bowling him over. "We thought you were dead in there!" Chie complained, quickly hiding her initial relief. "Have consideration for our feelings, will ya?"

Souji steadied himself against the wall, subtly calming his racing heart. His chest had almost _exploded _there. "Yeah, sorry. I just got caught up in looking around."

Yosuke was staring at the chair, disquieted. "Guys...this combination never means anything good. And these posters? Whoever this woman was, someone sure hated her a lot." He shivered. "You were right, Leader. This room is bad news—and anyway, whatever it is, it isn't our ticket out of here."

'"You don't think the _killer _sleeps here, do you?" Chie whispered. All three paused, exchanging uneasy glances. "I thought you didn't believe me about Saki-senpai coming in here?" Yosuke said.

"Well...I still don't," Chie admitted. "But if it's true, whoever killed them must seriously have it in for women, right? Maybe this woman here is the next victim or something."

"D-don't say that like there'll be a _next_ victim," Yosuke said, looking shaken despite the determination in his voice. "If he's here, we'll catch him for sure!"

"What, with the crap we filched from Junes?" Chie retorted, but she said it quietly, and to Yosuke's back. She caught Souji's eye and jerked her head towards Yosuke. Her meaning was unmistakable: _Keep an eye on him. _

They returned to the stage which had been their starting point. Next was a staircase that took them down to what looked like a regular tarmac road and a sidewalk that gave them a start at first sight—just why did the TV world ape the outside world so much, anyway?—torn out from their foundations and left to hang over nothing. Carefully keeping away from the edge, they opted to see where it might lead. Besides, there seemed something familiar about it...

They were chewing determinedly at their energy bars when Yosuke came to a halt, his eyes wide and alert. The newly visible building meant nothing to Souji, but—"That's from the Central Shopping District!" Chie exclaimed. "It's Saki's family business," she explained, wincing. "So did she come here after all—come back, Yosuke!"

Yosuke was already halfway to the store.

Then the distant figure stopped, backed away. Raised its arms. A soft susurration was rising up all around them, filled with half-formed words that invoked more involuntary emotion than comprehension. Souji forced them away, eyes fixed on Yosuke as he charged forward; Yosuke and the strange shadowy beings that completely surrounded him. Their masks regarded him blankly, but Souji could sense even from here their raw, primal hunger.

The sickly yellow light danced off Yosuke's knives as he slashed at them. The shadows' oddly liquid flesh split, but not due to his efforts; _all the better to eat you with, my dear_, Souji thought in dim horror as the creatures grew themselves gaping, salivating mouths. Huge red tongues licked at newly formed lips in eager anticipation. The deadly circle tightened around Yosuke.

_No! _Souji put on a final spurt of speed, putting himself in range for a hit. Violently he swung the golf club at one of the creatures, knocking it back with a vaguely rubbery sound that wouldn't be out of place in a children's comedy show. T_he things you notice when you're fighting for your life_, Souji thought with a flinch. Chie was right behind him in full flight mode, one leg extended to strike. It connected, and another shadow bounced away.

But already they were coming back, reforming the circle—around all three of them. Saliva flew from their thrashing tongues. Souji braced himself against the backs of the other two, swallowing against the block in his throat. The possibility of his death—their deaths— still seemed hazy, suspended beyond a barrier of shock. His eyes blinked in pain, struggling to close against the impossible sight before them. But the monsters were real. The hot liquid soaking through his clothes was real. And so were their impending fates. Souji gripped the golf club harder, willing himself to believe. The cold metal pressed against his palms, telling him: _you are not going to wake up from _this _nightmare._

"I'm sorry," he said, shouting to be heard over the creatures' mindless gibbering. "You were right, Chie, we should have listened to you..."

Chie let out a choked half-sob. Her back vibrated against his. "Don't think stroking my ego now is getting you out of a thrashing in the afterlife, you, you...idiot!"

"Hey, I persuaded you to bring us here, man," Yosuke said. His voice was shaking badly. "If it's anyone's fault...At least I think I know now how Saki-senpai died...that's something, at least..."

"That's hardly enough!" Souji shouted. The coiled spring in his chest twisted painfully. "I want all of you to _live!"_

The spring twisted further—and broke.

_I am thou...thou art I..._

The voice again! Souji could have screamed in frustration. Now was definitely _not _the time for this!

_The time has come..._

Something...something was rising out of him—Souji cried out, clutching at his head. It felt like a piece of his mind was breaking off, taking on a life of its own—spreading through him _ohgod he was going to break into a million pieces—_

_Open up thy eyes to what is within!_

His hand burned with a gathering, prickling heat—and suddenly there was a card, warm and pulsing against his skin like a second heart. On one side, a mask. The other side—he turned it over—was blank. _What...?_

Blue light welled from it in a torrent, glaring into his eyes. Souji could not look away. It seemed to burst right through him, exposing his soul and all its secrets in its all-revealing light. "What's going on?" Yosuke cried out, but Souji was in no condition to answer. His lips moved, all by themselves—as though someone else spoke through him: "Per...son...a..."

His hand closed, smashing the card. Blue fire roared out from between his fingers, rising above his head. In its heart was a dark, looming form, the ends of its coat flying in the unnatural wind. Souji stared at it, a fiercely triumphant joy unfurling unbidden in his heart. The sight of it sang to him like the strands of some far-off, grand symphony—it was _right,_ it was _good, _there was no need to be afraid—

Yellow eyes glared down with ferocity at the shadows. Somehow, though the being never spoke, Souji knew that its name was Izanagi. Its name was in his head and in his heart. With feeling he spoke it.

_Izanagi! My friends are in danger. Save them!_

It—He—inclined his masked head in the barest of nods. Then he was upon the shadows, his weapon flashing expertly and efficiently even as the shadows retreated in a squealing, disorderly mass. Once they were gone, Izanagi vanished, and Souji could _feel _him settling into his mind, warm and snug and _belonging _so surely and completely that Souji wondered how he had ever lived without that reassuring presence.

Abruptly, Souji's knees gave up without his permission and deposited the rest of him on the road. The euphoria died as quickly as it had begun. They could all have _died. _If Izanagi hadn't chosen that moment to show up—

There were hands under his arms, helping him up. Souji raised his head, afraid to look, but all he saw on Yosuke's face was wonder. "Dude, that was _amazing," _he whispered. "You totally _owned_ them all. I wonder if _we _could do it too...what d'you think, Chie?"

Chie faced away from them, the line of her shoulders taut with tension. "I'm _never _speaking to him ever again," she said, her voice brittle.

"Hey, loosen up, Chie," Yosuke said, trying and failing himself to sound calm. "The guy saved our lives, you know."

"After getting us into this mess in the first place!" Chie exploded, spinning around. Her eyes were suspiciously red. "Saving our lives was the very _least _he could do! And, you know what, _we're still stuck here. _So forgive me if I'm not falling to my knees in thanks!"

Souji shrank back, the harshness of her words hitting him like well-aimed knives. His dizziness intensified. Yosuke took a look at his wan face and frowned. "Let's save that for later, okay? He needs rest first."

Chie's fury lessened at that, and she nodded more calmly. "We should hide there first so those weird creatures won't find us again—uh." She realized where she was pointing. "Is that okay with you, Yosuke?"

Yosuke sighed. "It's all right. Let's go in."

He and Chie each took an arm and half-carried, half-dragged Souji into the Konishi store. Souji shut his eyes to block out the sight of the whirling portal and opened them again to blessed darkness. There was a faint smell of sake hanging in the air, cool glassy glints from the bottles lined up inside the softly humming freezers. Yosuke dropped Souji into a corner, and sat down right across him, while Chie chose to search the room.

"Hey," Yosuke said slowly, "Is it okay if I ask you something?"

Souji nodded carefully. He was starting to feel better already, but he didn't feel ready to face the TV world—or Chie's wrath—again. Yosuke's questions were a welcome diversion.

Yosuke let out a sigh and slumped down, resting his chin in his hands. "How come you can enter the TV? Is it because of your—power—or something?"

"Honestly, I have no idea," Souji said, frowning. "I'm not in the habit of touching TV screens everywhere I go—but I'm fairly sure that I only got this power after coming to Inaba."

_A dream...of a world shrouded in fog..._

Souji blinked, but Yosuke was already putting out his next question, "Could anyone other than you enter the TV?"

"Saki Konishi, maybe?" Souji suggested. He saw the look on Yosuke's face and said, more gently, "Maybe what almost happened to us...happened to her." _Maybe if we'd died here the next foggy morning would have found us strung up for the viewing pleasure of Inaba._

"No!" Yosuke said with vehemence. "Remember that announcer lady? It can't be that she decided to fall inside the TV on the same night as Senpai! There's got to be some sicko had this power, same as you, and put them in! Senpai _was _here...that's why there's this store...I don't know how this world works, maybe Senpai made it or something...but it can't be just a coincidence! "

Souji had indeed forgotten about the second victim. Yosuke's theory was beginning to make a disturbing amount of sense. "So that means...the bedroom we saw just now was related somehow to Mayumi Yamano's death?"

Yosuke shrugged. "Maybe. We don't know how long this world's been around. Maybe it's someone else's...from a long time ago."

They were silent then, disquieted by the creeping uncertainty that they might ever know the truth of the 'accidents', much less the nature of the odd world next door to their own. Chie, thankfully, broke this depressing chain of thought. "Yosuke? I think you should come look at this." There was something odd in her voice.

"Huh?"

This was what Chie had to show him:

Photographs, strewn across the table. In every one of them, Yosuke and Saki stood next to each other; Yosuke with a huge goofy grin, Saki with a small reserved smile. They looked...close.

Just like the posters in the bedroom, every one of them had been mutilated, sliced right down the center. When Yosuke reached out with a trembling hand to pick one picture up, it split into two; him on one side, and Saki on the other. "W-who did this?" he stammered.

Voices, speaking from everywhere and nowhere:

"_I wish Junes would go under..."_

"_It's all because of that store..."_

"_Oh, I heard that Konishi-san's daughter is working there..." _

"_Oh my...how could she, with her family's business suffering like it is...?"_

"_I heard their sales have gone downhill because of Junes..."_

"_That poor father...having his daughter working for the enemy..."_

"_What a troublesome child..."_

Horribly sanctimonious voices, swelled with mock pity and understanding: Yosuke snapped, yelling into the dark: "Shut up! You don't know a single thing about Saki-senpai!"

A brief pause. Just as Souji began to hope it was over, consumed with pity for Yosuke and the dead girl both, a man began to speak into the deathly hush:

"_Saki, how many times do I have to tell you?"_

"Senpai's...dad!" Yosuke blurted out.

They listened in mute horror as he yelled and ranted about the family honor and what a disgrace she was. "No way..." Yosuke said. "She looked like she was always having fun at work...she never said anything like this to me." The scrap of photograph crumpled in his fist. "Are you telling me...these are Senpai's true feelings?"

That pause again, which Souji had learned to dread. He felt instinctively they should go. The girl was newly dead, and these were her deeply buried troubles that they were eavesdropping on. But Yosuke was frozen in place, his face upturned for the next serving of anguish. In sudden realization Souji put a hand on Yosuke's shoulder. It was like touching a statue.

A girl, this time. Yosuke tensed up even more, if that was possible.

"_I...never had the chance to say it...I always wanted to tell Hana-chan..."_

"That's me," Yosuke said softly. "Senpai, I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..."

"_...that he was a real _pain in the ass."

The shift in Yosuke was perceptible. He recoiled as though he had been struck, knocking away Souji's hand with his own. His face was paper-white in the dark. Souji reached out again, and hesitated. The other boy's pain was like a wall keeping him out. How could he even begin to approach that? How could he even understand? He had never even known Saki...

"_I was nice to him just because he was the store manager's son, that's all...but he takes it completely the wrong way and gets all _enthusiastic..._what a _dip."

"Don't listen to her!" Chie barrelled into Yosuke, speaking as loudly as possible to drown out Saki's voice. "You can't trust anything that comes out of this freaky world! What she's saying isn't true, you know it!"

"I know..." Yosuke struggled to compose himself under Saki's relentless attack. "Yeah, it's a lie, it must be...Senpai's not like that!"

"Aw...it's so bad...I feel so _sorry _for myself..._Boo hoo."_

That was Yosuke's voice...only Yosuke hadn't said that. As one they turned. "A _second_ Yosuke!" Chie gasped in shock. "What's _going on?"_

"Actually, _I'm _the one who thinks everything's a pain in the ass!" the other Yosuke said, an ugly sneer twisting his mouth. "Screw the shopping district, and Junes too! I'm sick of everything, especially living out in the sticks!"

"No!" Yosuke shoved past Chie violently to confront his doppelganger. "That's _bullshit_! I...I wouldn't think like that!"

"Haha, don't delude yourself!" the other Yosuke laughed. "You put on a good show of being carefree and happy-go-lucky 'cause you're _so _terrified of being alone. The more the merrier, right? You've got to be surrounded by people to block out the pain of isolation!" He leaned closer to Yosuke, as though about to share a secret. "And what's this about checking out this world for Saki-senpai's sake? _Hah! _I know the _real _reason you came snooping..."

"Stop it!" Yosuke screamed, shaking his head. "You don't know ANYTHING at all!"

Souji felt Chie's cold hand close around his. Her eyes were huge and scared. "Souji...what do we do? Is it...for real? Is it saying the truth?"

Souji was glad for the contact; some of things the other Yosuke was saying resonated uncomfortably within him. "I don't know. A _kind _of truth, anyway. Only Yosuke knows."

"I can't stand this," Chie said, firming her lips. Her body moved, instinctive and easy, into her battle pose. "We should be doing _something..._like kicking that stupid clone's butt!_" _

Souji wasn't so sure it was a good idea. They had no idea what exactly the other Yosuke was, whether he would prove dangerous or not if provoked. On the other hand, he hated to see Yosuke being wounded like this. Whatever that _thing _was, it knew precisely which weapons to wield. He nodded in agreement. Yosuke could face whatever issues he was coping with...safely _outside _the TV.

"Why so panicked?" the other Yosuke drawled. "I thought I was just spouting bullshit! Or...maybe I DO know everything you're thinking! ...Why's that? Because I AM you!"

Chie needed no further encouragement. The two of them stood shoulder-to-shoulder with Yosuke even as he shrank from their touch, avoiding their eyes. "It's okay, Yosuke..." Chie said. "We know that'snot really you."

"How touching," the doppelganger said before Yosuke could reply. "You chase after her and her sweet little girlfriend for _months_, and only _now_ she decides to support you? Even when she was feeling all sorry for you she picked that guy to be the leader! Who the hellis _he_ anyway? It should have been _you, _right?Then when you catch that killer you can become a hero!" His eyes gleamed with malice. "Who knows, maybe the town would _finally _accept you. That Senpai you were so sweet on? Her death was the _perfect _excuse!"

"No!" Yosuke took a step forward, trembling, even as Chie froze in shock. "That's not true! Who are you...WHAT are you?"

The other Yosuke chuckled. "Who else? _You. _I'm you...your shadow...there's nothing I don't know about you!"

"Screw that!" Yosuke's hands balled into fists. "If you knew anything about me...you'd know I loved Senpai!"

As clearly as if the future had been unveiled to him, Souji knew what Yosuke was going to do next. The next few moments stretched out, dreamlike, into a yawning infinity. As though moving through molasses, his hand tried, and failed to seize hold of Yosuke; his warning words were drawn out into a garbled mess of syllables:

"Stop, Yosuke! _Don't say it!"_

"_You can't be me, you son of a bitch!"_

The other Yosuke screamed with laughter, body convulsing in a single, spastic twitch from head to toe. "That's right! You're _nothing _like me. I'm _me _now...so get out of the way!"

Tendrils of black smoke burst out of the other Yosuke, rimmed with blue light. Chie and Souji had to shield their eyes or be blinded. When they could see again, Yosuke lay slumped on the floor, unconscious; the other Yosuke leaned over him, a hulking black thing with long spindly limbs, gloved yellow hands poised to strike.

"_I am a shadow, the true self!" _it declared. _"I'll crush everything that bores me..._ _starting with you!"_

"Oh my god..." Chie breathed, staring upward. "How are we going to kill that thing?"

"We'll have to," Souji said grimly. "Somehow."

As natural as breathing he called the card to his hand, smashed it, and summoned his Persona.

* * *

-_next: unbearable circumstances-_


	5. Chapter 5: Unbearable Circumstances

**CHAPTER FIVE: UN-BEAR-ABLE CIRCUMSTANCES**

**4/14  
****Rain**

Bottles lay in fragments where the carelessly flung winds had caught them and sent them crashing to the floor. The smell of sake was nearly overpowering now. Cautiously, Souji made his way through to where Yosuke was sitting, head bowed. The Shadow stood like an oversized doll in its corner, golden eyes alit upon nothing, mocking words stilled; beaten for now.

"Hey," he said. "How are you?"

Yosuke made an unintelligible noise. The knuckles on his hands, clasped tight around his knees, turned white. Once again, that barrier was there, hanging between them; pushing Souji away. Souji had always found the right words easy, dispensing them freely in return for the confidences of his friends; but then he had had the luxury of easing them slowly and gently into acceptance, using small assurances and gestures of support as a buffer of sorts through the inevitable rejection and self-recrimination.

Yosuke's secrets had been ripped into mercilessly, every single one of them dragged forth from the ruins of his illusions to be dangled in the spotlight. No time for acceptance, just stunned, aching denials that the Shadow fed on gleefully until it had ascended bloated with fear and rage. Souji pondered his next action carefully, aware that every move was crucial if he wished to avoid a repeat performance. His body was weak and aching where it had been buffeted by the razor-edged winds; Izanagi 's sole weakness, unfortunately enough. Without a Persona Chie had been far more vulnerable; she leaned now against the wall, badly bruised and panting for breath. Another battle could end them all.

Yosuke finally raised his head. His eyes were the only spots of color in his pale face, shrinking away from the Shadow. "Go away…" he whispered. "Leave me alone...you're not... me..."

Souji's heart sank.

"That thing came from you, Yosuke," he said as gently as he could. "I think...that's what it wants you to say."

Yosuke shook his head insistently. Tears spilled from the corners of his eyes; he wiped at them roughly with his sleeve. "Liar. You don't believe that's true either," he accused.

Souji was taken aback. "Why do you say so?"

Yosuke blinked very slowly, like a thousand-year-old mummy. "If what he said was true...you guys wouldn't want to talk to me. Ever again." He let out a brittle little laugh. "C'mon, I'm the class clown ...how could I have something like that in me? Always just joking...you don't have to take anything I say seriously..."

"I took everything the Shadow said seriously," Souji said. "And you know what? _I don't care_. That Shadow came out because you were trying to push it down so deeply that the pressure just built up. That's not the actions of a psychopath who _enjoys_ those thoughts. That's how I know...you're a good guy at heart, Yosuke."

Yosuke said nothing. But he moved, very slightly, so that he faced Souji. That had to be a good sign. Encouraged, Souji went on, "You can't hide that Shadow away forever. It is part of you. Tell that Shadow just who's in charge...or it'll go berserk again."

"But..." Yosuke protested weakly.

Chie stepped up behind, smiling despite her limp. "It's alright. We heard all that...and we still wanna be friends with you, okay? You haven't changed, Yosuke. You're still yourself."

"Myself..." Yosuke repeated. He looked like he'd had a minor epiphany of sorts, a new light flooding his face and infusing his body with strength enough to propel him to his feet. For the first time he looked at the Shadow directly, and although he flinched at the sight he did not turn away. "Damnit..." he muttered. "It hurts to face yourself..."

"You're brave enough to do it," Souji said. "I know it."

"Heh, thanks..." Yosuke squared his shoulders. "I knew it wasn't lying...but I was so ashamed I didn't want to admit it. Hear that, Shadow? You're me...and I'm you. When you come down to it...all of this is me."

The Shadow inclined its head. Its body disappeared into a familiar blue light that rose into the air and coalesced into a strikingly recognizable form—the Shadow's true body humanized. It vanished into a card that spiralled down into Yosuke's waiting hand. Yosuke gazed down at it in awe. "Hey..." he said softly. "...Jiraiya..."

Abruptly his body wobbled and would have fallen if Chie hadn't had the quick reflexes to seize hold of him. Souji leaped forward to help. Together they lowered Yosuke to the ground, where he sat opening and closing his hand repeatedly. "Y'know..." he said unexpectedly. "I think I know what Senpai went through now. I may be a "pain in the ass", but..." He let out a half-bitter, half-embarrassed chuckle. "Well, I don't think I can blame her. If you guys hadn't been around, who knows what might have happened. Um...thanks. A lot."

Chie scratched the back of her head and cleared her throat. "You're welcome!" she declared, trying not to look deeply touched and largely failing. There was a brief moment where they sneaked glances at each other doing their best not to grin like idiots. Souji felt...well, warm, as though some dusty old window inside his being had been cracked open to admit a ray of sunlight. It was probably dangerous to feel this way, but right now he didn't care.

He was so caught up that he didn't even notice at first, but then—"Uh, what's that sound?" Chie asked, turning towards the door. "What the hell's that THING—argh!" Her voice ended in a shriek as the roaring rotund shape barrelled straight into Souji and sent him crashing to the floor. His entire body protested violently, twangs of pain producing a melody of aches singing up and down just about everywhere. Souji groaned, staring at the ceiling. The new arrival was sitting firmly on his middle; he couldn't move even if he wanted to. Just what had he done to deserve this?

"So!" the intruder said, bristling. From his undignified position Souji could only see what appeared to be an oversized clown suit in garish shades of blue and red. "I've finally caught you! You're the guys who've been throwing people in the TV, aren't you? C'mon, spill it!"

"What _is_ this thing?" Chie's voice floated to his ears. "A monkey? A bear...?"

"What in the _world_...?" Yosuke chimed in.

From their reactions, it didn't seem to be a Shadow. Small blessing. "Mind giving me a hand...?" Souji ventured, wheezing a little. Luckily, it wasn't too heavy despite its size.

"Yeah, get off our friend!" Chie said. "Or...if you wanna fight, that's fine by me too!"

The weird being immediately cringed, presumably at the terrifying sight of Chie in her fighting pose. "J-jeez, Chie," Yosuke said. "No need to get all anal on it right off...wait, what d'you mean throwing people into the TV? "

"Lately I can tell someone's been throwing people in here," the being said, a little more subdued in the face of an aimed and loaded Chie. Despite himself, Souji listened, interested. "It's making this world more and more un-bear-able...I just want to live here peacefully..."

"How could you possibly live here?" Chie demanded. "We just got here today and now there's nothing more than I want to get out again! Just what exactly ARE you?"

Yosuke overrode her disbelief with a fresh wave of anger. "And you think _we're_ the ones who've been putting people in? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! If they got in and couldn't get out like us...they might die! We wouldn't ever do such a thing!"

To their combined surprise, the being sprang off Souji's poor abused body only to cower behind him, propping him up as a shield of sorts against Chie's and Yosuke's glares. Souji glanced behind and willed his mouth not to drop open at the sight. It really _was_ a bear of sorts, with huge glassy eyes, a cute little cowlick, fuzzy blue fur and aforementioned clownish costume. It looked like it belonged to a second-rate magician's show as opposed to this strange foggy world—and certainly not like it posed any kind of threat.

"You guys came into my world and caused this big commotion," the strange bear mumbled into Souji's back. "I peeked in here and saw you beating up the Shadows...I don't think anyone _forced_ you in so who else could it be?"

"We came here because we thought a friend of ours had been pushed in," Souji said, making his voice as reassuring as possible. It seemed to work because the shivering going on behind slowed. "And as you can see...this is her place. Which means she died here." He heard Yosuke swallow, hard, but forged on, determined to get the bear on their side. If he really lived here, he might know something. "We want to know who's been putting people in just as much as you do."

The bear poked its head out tentatively from its makeshift shelter. "Really? So you guys aren't the ones behind all this?"

"We already told you, how many times do we need to—" Yosuke began, but Souji hastily interrupted. "No, we aren't. As proof we could help each other find the culprit," he said, eyeing the other two meaningfully. In response Yosuke shut his mouth and crossed his arms. Chie discreetly lowered her foot and tried to appear as non-threatening as possible.

"You promise?" the bear quavered. It really was like a child, Souji thought. If it'd known about the existence of pinky-finger swears it would likely have demanded one.

"Yeah," he said with his most encouraging smile. "We promise."

The bear brightened. "Okay! I'll believe that you guys aren't the culprits. But in return you've got to find the real guy who did this and stop him." Then its oddly expressive face fell again. "Um, but first you've got to get out of here. The fog is going to lift here soon..."

Struck by the bear's ominous tone, Chie asked, "Wait, what does the fog have to do with anything?"

The bear looked around uneasily and lowered its voice. "When the fog lifts here, the Shadows get bear-y violent. You'd know when that happens 'cause that's when it gets foggy on your side..."

"Foggy?" Yosuke repeated. "Hey, wasn't it foggy the day..."

"No more questions!" The bear jumped up, suddenly businesslike. "Where did you guys come in? I'll let you out and then you can come here and investigate when it's safe again!"

Chie suddenly looked a lot more impressed with the bear. "You...you actually know the way out of here?"

"Of course!" The bear looked vaguely insulted. It waddled towards the exit and then hesitated. Shyly, it looked towards Souji. "Um...do you mind going first? Y-you were amazing beating up that Shadow earlier, Sensei..."

Was that bear..._blushing_?

"Sensei...?!" Yosuke sputtered. "Hey, he's not the only guy with a Persona, you know..."

Chie elbowed him in the ribs, smiling and exuberant. "Are you talking about the Persona that just stomped all over yours?" she asked sweetly.

They grumbled at each other all the way back to the stage, back to their usual selves. Souji couldn't even feel annoyed about it now that their excursion had ended with less than serious consequences—and even a net benefit for Yosuke, who'd faced down his Shadow. Apparently they also had a clue to follow up on regarding the murders. "What's your name?" he asked the bear, who seemed determined to stick close.

"Teddie!" the bear beamed. The name was...extremely appropriate, if you forgot about the fact that _Teddie_ lived in an extraterrestrial dimension populated with murderous Shadows. Souji mentioned only his first observation, causing Teddie to puff up happily.

Once at their destination, the bear tapped its foot and summoned a stack of hot pink TVs. "Ta-daa!" it announced, twirling around. "Exit through here!"

Yosuke blinked, stepping forward. "Whoa! How did the bear do that?"

"Who cares?" Chie poked at the TVs, frowning. "Uh, how does this work, exactly?"

"Like...this!"

That was the last they heard from the bear as it charged forward and shoved them through the TVs. Souji caught a glimpse of the black-and-white spirals of the portal and shut his eyes tightly.

_Here we go again..._

* * *

They climbed out of the TV in a pathetic attempt at furtiveness, far too excited to be back. Fortunately the TV section remained as deserted as ever. Yosuke retrieved his phone from its hiding place. "So late already?" he exclaimed, dismay creeping into his expression."Dad is going to _kill_ me!" His mouth snapped shut as he realized his poor turn of phrase a second too late.

Chie frowned but otherwise refrained from a biting comment; a sign of how tired she was. "Same here. I was supposed to be eating dinner at home." They both looked at Souji, waiting for him to add his own tale of woe. "Dojima-san will probably be late as usual," he said. Horrified, he remembered. "That means Nanako-chan will be home alone!"

"Nanako-chan?" Chie asked as they walked slowly out of Electronics, Yosuke leaning heavily on Souji's shoulder. Souji was worried about him, but Yosuke had insisted he was fine, he just needed to sleep it off.

"My six-year-old cousin," Souji said, his guilt intensifying at what he imagined was an accusing look from Chie. "She's used to minding the house, but..."

"Take her out with you next time," Yosuke suggested. "It's going to rain soon, so you have to hurry if you don't have an umbrella. Of course, Junes always has some in stock, fifteen percent off on rainy days." He winked.

"That's right...it's going to rain tonight!" Chie exclaimed, coming to a stop and nearly causing the two boys to crash into her back. "Have you guys heard about the rumor of the Midnight Channel? If you watch the TV alone at midnight while it's raining you'll see the face of your soulmate on the screen. Even if the TV's unplugged!"

"...So? It's just another crazy rumor." Yosuke shrugged. "Forget about it."

"Argh! What a moron." Chie aimed a half-hearted kick at Yosuke. "I heard about it from the other girls," she confided. "A lot of them seemed to have seen something...what if it has something to do with the TV world?"

Comprehension dawned on Yosuke's face. Still he remained sceptical. "I heard something similar when I was living in the city...about a mirror and peeling an apple..."

"Never mind, it can't hurt to try!" Chie said, annoyed that her big revelation had fallen so flat. "Do it tonight, okay?"

"You two go ahead, I'll be crashing," Yosuke muttered. Then he spotted something in the distance and went pale. "Aw shit, that's my dad! And he looks _pissed_. You guys better scram. Just put me onto that ledge..."

"No, it's okay," Souji insisted. Chie looked like she might argue, but in the end they bravely stood their ground against Yosuke's father, who was steaming over his son skipping out in the middle of his shift and then going missing for two hours straight. In the end, Hanamura-san bought the story about Yosuke's fainting spell and left to drive his son home, though not without a slew of disapproving comments about Yosuke's clearly deficient sleeping and dietary habits.

"Ugh, if I were Yosuke I'd keep those headphones on all the time," Chie muttered once they were out of earshot.

Souji just shrugged. It _was _irritating, but in a way he couldn't really quantify as good or bad. He thought, a little resentfully, that he wouldn't mind his own father hassling him like that now and then.

It took him a moment to realize that Chie was staring at him with a somber expression, arms folded across her chest. "Chie? What's wrong?"

"Nothing bad happened in the end," Chie said, her eyes narrowing into a focused glare, "but...you and Yosuke better have learned a lesson about using your brains before jumping into strange places. Got that?"

Souji nodded, recalling those horrifying handfuls of moments when he'd thought they were going to die or be stuck in the TV world. "I won't ever forget. I'm sorry, Chie, for putting you two into danger."

"That said, you were still a pretty good leader," Chie said, smiling awkwardly. "I never knew all that stuff about Yosuke...but you helped him, protected him...it was really cool." Her face flared red. "Uh! We promised that bear to stop the killer, right? What I mean is, you should continue being our leader. If you're okay with that."

If she got any redder, she'd topple over from all the blood rushing up to her head, Souji thought, both touched and absurdly pleased—that she'd continue to put her trust in him, even after everything. "I'm okay with it if you are. Thanks, Chie."

"Hey, no—thanks, _Souji_," she said, smiling back at him. "See you at school tomorrow!" With that she spun on her heel and ran off. Souji watched her for a moment before setting off for home.

Nanako was in her usual spot in front of the television, watching what appeared to be a quiz show. "I'm home," Souji called out anyway, shaking his umbrella out before coming in. "Sorry about the time—have you eaten dinner yet?"

Nanako nodded. "Yeah—I'm used to cooking for myself when Dad isn't home. You don't have to worry about me." She sounded vaguely sad, as though she was talking about some distant relative. Souji joined her at the table, wishing he could do something about that—but it really wasn't any of his business. Still, like Yosuke said, he should make more of an effort to include her in his activities, take some of the edge off that loneliness. "Anything interesting on the news?" Probably not if the TV world had been used as the murder weapon. It wasn't exactly something that your typical forensic sciences course covered.

"More stuff about the murders." Nanako didn't seem very interested. "You can change channels if you want."

Souji did so, curious to see what new evidence might have come to light anyway. He landed right in the middle of a special report. Prominent residents were interviewed, including the mayor; the owners of the houses with the recently infamous TV antennas were interviewed; the police had their first suspect.

_Wait, what?_

"Taro Namatame, recently revealed lover of the deceased Mayumi Yamano, went missing from his parents' home this morning. While the former city council secretary has been able to produce an alibi for the time of the hangings, police are treating his disappearance as highly suspicious... "

The newscaster went on, rehashing the details of the sordid affair. Not finding information of that nature nearly as riveting, Souji sat back, deep in thought. Could it be that they, the explorers of the TV world, had their first suspect as well? While Namatame's ties with Ms. Yamano did seem incriminating, his ties with Saki Konishi was, at first glance, nonexistent. He supposed Yosuke would have a better idea of Saki's acquaintances than he did...though someone who could kill people without a trace might have no reason to do it other than for kicks...

"Um...are you done?" Nanako's voice broke into his thoughts. "Only, there's this show coming up I want to see..."

Souji reassured Nanako that it was fine and retired to the kitchen to make himself dinner. It was only when he had gone upstairs that he remembered the Midnight Channel. He lifted the curtain and checked; yep, rain still going strong. Like Yosuke, he doubted anything much would come out of it, but as leader it was his responsibility to check up on any lead that they might have, even if he felt that the news about Namatame was a far more important link to the case.

The rain fell, running in rivulets down the panes. It hit the pavement with a rhythmic patter that Souji found deeply soothing. He found himself leaning forward as if to catch its journey from the sky to the ground below. The glass was refreshingly cool against his forehead...

...Souji jerked awake from his half-trance at the window with a start. He was suddenly conscious of how battered and worn from their two near-death experiences, all his bruises and sprains aching with a renewed vengeance. If it wasn't for the agreement to check out the Midnight Channel, he would have gladly fallen right into his futon and slept the night away.

Instead he set his alarm for a few minutes before midnight, and crawled into bed for a few hours of blissful rest.

* * *

"See anything on your side?" Chie asked.

The screen remained resolutely blank. Souji had braced himself before allowing his eyes to wander over his TV, but to his relief there were no more mysterious voices and visions, which if he had to guess were a side-effect of Izanagi's initial awakening. Though he had to wonder...if Yosuke's Persona came from his Shadow...where was _his _own darker self? His life now was a vast improvement over the mess that had been his childhood but Souji couldn't kid himself that he was perfect. Try as he might he couldn't completely put the far too mobile reflection with its laughing yellow eyes out of his mind, even as the seconds passed and the incident failed to repeat itself, and he had to question the certainty of what he had actually seen.

"No," he reported into the phone tucked against his shoulder.

"Did you try sticking your finger through?"

"And get it bitten off by a monster waiting on the other side?' he pointed out.

Chie laughed sheepishly. "...I didn't think of that."

Souji was about to suggest an end to the experiment when the TV abruptly flicked on, casting an eerie yellow glow-the fogged, unhealthy light of the other dimension, falling into his room like a contamination. Souji winced at at the reminder of how _near _the TV world and its horrors actually was to him, in the middle of the Dojimas' safe, comfortable house. "It's _real,_" Chie breathed in a mixture of vindication and alarm. "There really is a Midnight Channel. Oh crap, do you think we're really going to see our soulmates?! I'm not sure I want anybody the TV world decides is my soulmate."

"Me too," he said, watching intently as a black silhouette emerged from the clinging mist. He squinted, frowning; was there something vaguely familiar about it?

The question was answered when the image suddenly sharpened into focus as if there was a competent cameraman behind the wheel, the yellow tint lightening without disappearing entirely, until there was a clear image of a thin, suited man standing on a podium. He heard a sharp intake of breath over the line. "That's…!"

"Yeah," Souji said, staring as Taro Namatame smiled and waved with maniac cheerfulness, a complete contrast to the shamed, silent politician they'd seen plastered over the news for the past week. "There goes the first suspect."

* * *

**Author's Notes: **IT'S BEEN THREE WHOLE YEARS I am so, so sorry. Even this chapter isn't really anything new, as ~90% of it was posted to the Bathhouse in December 2010. I can't even say there will be regular updates from now on, or even more updates; in the time since then I've somehow lost my outline for this story, so I only remember clearly the part where I planned out the team going through Namatame's dungeon (and I was really looking forward to writing that!). I WILL TRY TO GET OUT THE NEXT CHAPTER AT THE VERY LEAST, and if there's anyone out there still following this, again I'm so sorry D:

* * *

_-next (hopefully!): home is where the heart is (hurt)_


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